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Location: The Promised Land

This is my triumphant return to the lifestyle I've always furthered and forwarded in my heart, at least, so let's blast off. The first half of my life has been incredible and the second segment will include more splendors than any Ottoman Sultan could ever have wished for in his golden repose. Anyway, fasten your laughter belt cuz you're on a collision course with wackiness.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Monday Night Thoughtball

It's 9:03 in the p.m. on January the 8th and I'm watching the college football championship on Fox. The Fox Network is systematically trying to ruin everything, including Family Guy from what I hear of late.

9:23: The Gators are ahead 21-7, I love it. I'm no U of F lover, but I DO love an underdog. I guess hype produces great irony, at least. The exterior of this new stadium in Glendale, Arizona looks creepy in the blimp shots, like part of the Death Star growing out of the desert night.

9:46: The Florida marching band often plays the theme from Jaws as the frenzied fanatics in the stands wildly clap their arms to emulate the Jaws of... an alligator. I guess they have to do something.

9:55: Jonny Cat is on my lap and the vibrations begin. Happy birthday, Elvis. Why is there college football on your birthday? I saw two articles today that said USC would be the preseason number 1 later this year. We still haven't played last year's championship yet!?!? What the fuck?

10:06: 27-14, U of F, just before the half. The telecast has been much more palatable than I would've thought in a million years. That is to say, I've hardly noticed the commentary. Fumble to Florida, looks like they'll score again before the half. Hyuk. OSU was HEAVILY favored. This is fun. The stadium looks more like H.R. Giger than Death Star.

Today the Falcons introduced Bobby Petrino as the thirteenth coach in franchise history. After about three minutes of deliberation, I officially became optimistic and will remain so for the next year, at least. Nice feeling. Good name, too.

10:28: The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B. The biggest game of the college year and they eat air time with halftime marching bands. WHO watches marching bands on TV? They kill time nicely at an arena with no other competing media, save the occasional frisbee catching dog. TBS is running Family Guy. How clever and ironic. I cast my lot.

11:11: I finally check back and there's been no score at the end of the third quarter, Florida in control by twenty. Iggy Pop heard on a Cadillac commercial makes me wonder what mosquito needed to live in the past to have affected the future this way. Great fucking song, though.
11:46: The last look I'll give to the game finds the score in a palindrome, 41-14. That's all I need (bad, fake, Irish accent).


Anonymous Anonymous said...

But I'm still willing to marry you!

No yer not!

12:30 PM  

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