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Location: The Promised Land

This is my triumphant return to the lifestyle I've always furthered and forwarded in my heart, at least, so let's blast off. The first half of my life has been incredible and the second segment will include more splendors than any Ottoman Sultan could ever have wished for in his golden repose. Anyway, fasten your laughter belt cuz you're on a collision course with wackiness.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Los Straight Jackets, the real kind

Here I go, faced with the prospect of surgery in a foreign country which should alarm anyone in these United States, the land of the medical casino. Last night I dragged my gimp ass into Dodger Stadium because Pedro was pitching for the villain Mets so I had to learn to navigate the crutches very fast and what better place for that than a tiered stadium and seats in the middle of the aisle with a sellout crowd in place to witness the mighty clash of Titans. It was a mighty struggle for me but I thought it would make a good story to go out to voice my vote against Pedro. It was my first live encounter with the clash of the polar metropolises that keep North America pinned to the globe where the sides don't curl up. Talkin' about L.A. and NYC, of course, and the animosity was fresh and got fresher as the beer went down. I was dry myself as I didn't want to risk a trip to the bathroom so now I know how some disabled folk feel (Timmy!) and I felt my courage was all the greater and what a great example I set for the kids as they buried their greedy, ravenous, little faces into little mounds of pure spun sugar while their swarthy parents poured gasoline in the form of Coca Cola to wash it down and percolate like liquid magma headed straight to the acivity zone and I've really lost where this was going. Going to the game was the right thing to do.


Blogger That Darned Budman said...

You sir, are the man. I can't think of anyone who, with a snapped achillies, would brave the local Dunkin Donuts, much less the upper tier of Dodgers' Stadium. You inspire me fron a league away. You do understand that a league is a measure of distance and not of depth, so I'm not commenting on the depth of your character, but upon the distance that you travelled on crutches. Love ya bro.

11:24 PM  

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